This notion of ‘not being good enough’ is so pervasive in our society. It is so common for women to have thoughts like:
“I’m not skinny enough.”
“I’m not successful enough.”
“I’m not pretty enough.”
“I’m not brave enough.”
“I’m not strong enough.”
What is your own version of this ‘not good enough’ statement that tugs against your best intentions to be self-loving?
Take some time to imagine yourself as a Self-Love Tree and notice your Self-Worth root system. Are your roots grounded peacefully in the soil of knowing you are worthy just as you are or are they reaching toward some external validation or future goal in attempts to drink the sweet nectar of worth?
When I took a close honest look, I realized that some of my roots were popping up above ground and reaching toward certain financial goals. I wanted to make a certain amount of money in my business in order to deem myself a wildly successful entrepreneur. And I believed that when I reached this goal, then I would be good enough, then I would be worthy.
When I took an even closer look, I also noticed a rock in the earth that one of my roots seemed to be clinging. This was the rock of ‘illness.’ I realized that in some way, I had been clinging to the fact that “I have an illness” as part of my self-worth. Somehow, this struggle gave me a sense that my triumphs and joys were even more commendable because I was able to achieve them while having an illness.
Self-awareness is powerful; as soon as I realized these self-limiting approaches to self-worth, I was able to offer myself acceptance and compassion and then gently adjust my root system. I have since released this ‘illness rock’ from the grip of my roots and let it roll away. I have re-oriented my root system to ground deeper and wider into the pure truth that I am worthy exactly as I am. I am retraining my root system to know that there is no need to pop out above ground to reach for validation. Instead, I am worthy in this moment because I am alive. I am worthy because I am a human being. I am worthy because I am the only me. I am worthy because I give and receive love in the world. I am worthy because I am.
From this peaceful, already good enough starting-place, I experience my day with more ease and less push. The energy behind what I create and do comes from the roots of self-worth rather than from a quest to validate my self-worth. My Self-Love tree is able to grow and flourish, fed by the nourishment of a healthy sense of self-worth.
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