Your Shameful Secret Story. And Mine.
Jul 18, 2018
Today's SPARK invites you to liberate your shameful secret stories and rise up from those hidden places within...and shares a video of me coming out of hiding to rise up together with you.
As a human, your hidden places within can literally kill you. Your secret stories can spread shame through your interior like a wild fire, burning your self-love and sense of worthiness to ash. These shame flames, unchecked in those inner shadowlands, consume your mind with negative thoughts and self-loathing. I have intimately witnessed this shame and hiding end in suicide. And because of that, I have a personal passion for shining a light on these darker places.
As an entrepreneur, with a business based on Being You, hiding creates a false facade that blocks your authenticity and sabotages your ability to attract those you're meant to serve. If you show only your shiniest, most professional, acceptable, pleasing parts, people will not fully trust you. If you are hiding aspects of yourself and your life, others will not be able to connect in a deep human way and therefore will not be drawn to what you offer. If you carry shame in those hidden places within you, your authentic power and potential will be compromised. I've been there and done that.
This is why I continue to liberate any hidden parts into the light of day and support my clients--when they are ready--to do the same. Despite my commitment to this path, it doesn't mean these revealing moments are easy. This week's experience of stepping up to the mic at The Soul Family Cafe with Asher Leigh stretched me into unchartered terrain of sharing my most shameful rock bottom moment--and I did it for you and me BOTH.
Here's the whole story and my video Show & Tell...
On my way to this very supportive open-mic experience, I tuned into what my inner guidance wanted me to share during my 15 minute slot. It was horrifying to hear: "Share THAT Story you have never shared before."
I usually say an immediate Yes to whatever I'm guided to do, but this time I talked back. "Anything but that. That is way too shameful, gross, and vulnerable. It's just TMI. Isn't there anything else you want me to say or do on stage tonight?" Unfortunately, there was not. It was absolutely clear. To stay in integrity with following the truest guidance within, this was the story to share.
So I stepped onto the stage, feeling the churning in my belly, knowing only what story I was there to share--without a plan or script of HOW to share it. I figured I would simply tell the story in an improvisational way. But when I opened my mouth, I started singing.
I improvised a song of 4 moments from my life that illustrated a repeating theme-- hiding anything that seemed 'Bad' or shameful while attempting to maintain a facade that proclaimed only Goodness. This video clip shows the second half of the song, and includes THAT story I had never shared before. In my improvisational flow, the details are a bit abstract. So for full disclosure, the 'baggie' I carried in the final verse contained the underwear I accidentally pooped in. Yep, TMI, I know. But that is part of what is meant to be revealed in the telling of this story from my most shameful 'failure.' If the song had continued, you would hear that I was so depressed and dreaming of suicide that my sister called my boss, told him I wouldn't be coming to work anymore, and put me on a plane back to my parents so they could take care of me. Oh yes, the shame of that 2001 rock bottom time stung for years. And sharing this song on stage and with you now is yet another moment of my liberation. May it encourage your own.
|Liberating our shameful stories: "Hide & Seek. Show & Tell."
And for those who are ready to come out of hiding, love ALL of who you are, and make your unique contribution, I offer you a free Visioning Session to explore how I could support your readiness to courageously offer your gifts in the world.